Things you need:

1. Money. This is very important, as without money, you can't do much. If in case you don't have money, find a job, borrow, beg for it, or better yet, steal it.


2. Hunger and/or Greed. One of These is needed as without either of these, you won't be eating anything (If you are one of those who have neither of these, please see a doctor. You might be anorexic)


3. Transport to Colombo 3, Sri Lanka.




1. If you are in Sri Lanka, catch a bus. Nothing would make you hungrier than a Sri Lankan bus ride


2. If you are outside Sri Lanka, catch the very next flight to Sri Lanka and follow 3a above




4. Someone who speaks Sinhalese or Tamil (this in not compulsory, but it would be nice to have one handy just in case there are complicated instructions to give. Usually not the case)


5. Ability to order food. (AKA communication skills at a basic level)

Method of ordering:

• Use 3 above and get to Colombo 03, Sri Lanka, also Known as Kollupitiya or Colpetty. Ask around for the Pilawoos if you can't find it. (it's somewhere near the McDonalds, and attracts more people than McDonalds, so it won't be hard to find)


• Go inside and sit, preferably at a table (on a chair)

At this point a waiter will come upto you and ask what you want.

• Answer him as Follows In Sinhalese: "Cheese Kotthu Ekak" In Tamil "Oru Cheese Kotthu" Translation "One Cheese Kotthu". Be polite. (this stands for any restaurant in any country, the polite, not the way you order the kotthu. Oh, and it is sacrilege to go elsewhere to eat Cheese Kotthu, so beware)

In about 5-10 minutes, your Kotthu will arrive on a Ceramic Plate, a bit hot...

• Eat the Kotthu. (as is obvious, this is the most important step) Burp if you have to, but this is not very polite unless you say sorry.


• Pay the price (200 bucks the last I checked)


• Go home satisfied.


• Stop reading this after the period (Full stop).